The Laura Blog

In July, our 10-year-old went through a scheduled tonsillectomy and adenoidectomy due to the size of his tonsils, snoring, and sleep apnea. My time spent in the depths of the Internet preparing for the procedure cannot be overstated, and nerves were high for all of us (even his dad, who is a physician). People did not hold back in telling me how terrible recovery was going to be and how intolerable the pain would be. I'm here to offer a totally transparent, overview of our son's recovery process, including a pain scale for each day. This is the information I was after and was never able to find in one place. I'm also including everything that we purchased that significantly helped in his recovery that I would highly recommend having on hand.

Day 0: Surgery Day

Our son's arrival time at the surgery center was scheduled for 11:45am. He was not permitted any solids or fluids outside of water, Gatorade, or apple juice past midnight the night before. He woke up the day of surgery with a ton of nerves and sipped water and Gatorade until 9:45AM, which was the cut off for clear liquids. We arrived at Pre-Op and reviewed medical history and met with the surgical team for about an hour, at which time it was go-time. I was able to head back with our son to anesthesia, where he was given a mask to breathe in to (no pokes or IVs while awake). After a few breaths, he was already sleepy and nearly sedated, and they sent me to the waiting room with a number to monitor his surgical progress on a TV screen.

They had prepared us for a surgery time of 30-40 minutes. However, our son's status moved from PRE-OP to SURGERY IN to SURGERY OUT in 6 minutes flat. I actually called the emergency line thinking that the procedure was not able to be performed, but right as they were reassuring me over the phone, the surgeon strolled down the hall to let us know that everything was over and successful. They had let us know that they would allow our son to sleep for up to an hour post surgery before waking him up and allowing us back to see him, but it only took about 50 minutes for him to wake up on his own. He was still loopy and out of it when we went back, and over the course of the following hour was pretty uncomfortable. Waking up from the anesthesia was probably the hardest part of surgery day. However, about an hour later, he was fully awake and moved to an upright chair to sit in and he felt substantially better (likely from the Fentanyl he was given through IV during surgery). We headed home after about 2.5 hours in Post-Op, and the rest of the day was very manageable in terms of pain. He only ate popsicles and slushies and the hardest part was probably how hungry he was, but did not complain about being in significant discomfort.

Pain Scale: 5/10

Day 1 Post Op:

This day was a harder day. There were tears a few times and he felt discouraged about his pain and swelling. He was hungry but wouldn't eat anything outside of popsicles and Italian ice. Ice cubes were comforting for him to suck on and to chew. He wore his head wrap much of the day and liked the heat as opposed to the ice in the pads within it. This said, the pain was not unmanageable, and we made it through. Now that we've made it fully through recovery, this was the hardest day in hindsight.

Pain Scale: 7/10

Day 2 Post Op:

Pain became much better as compared to day 1. He ate a half of a scrambled egg, finely diced up Ramen noodles, and lots of Danimals smoothies. He was still slow and cautious and mostly spent the day in bed watching TV.

Pain Scale: 5/10

Day 3 Post Op:

This was a good day. He was so much more back to himself and was up, dressed, and building LEGOs. He ate mac and cheese and buttered noodles. He was really feeling encouraged and happy that he was already 3 days through his recovery and said that it wasn't as bad as he thought it would be.

Pain Scale: 3/10

Day 4 Post Op:

The day went very well and he was even outside playing with the neighbors (with MANY reminders from me to make sure he took it easy). He ate the same menu of soft foods. By evening, he was complaining more of pain and wore his headwrap, but after his next dose of meds, was back to the earlier / lower pain threshold he was at. 

Pain Scale: 4/10

Day 5 Post Op:

I was really waiting for things to take a bad turn on Day 5, but he continued feeling good during the day. He was outside playing with neighbors again, eating fluffy pancakes, yogurt, garlic bread, and ice cream, and overall, wandered around the house being bored. At around 6:00pm, some pain hit him pretty hard and he used his head wrap with ice. There were some tears and I was wondering if our luck was going to finally run out, but after his next dose of Ibuprofen a new movie, and some time spent laying down and resting, he felt well again.

Pain Scale: 3/10 (day); 8/10 (for a few hours at night)

Day 6 Post Op:

This day was an overall grumpy, cranky, and discouraging day for him. He was tired of having a sore throat, tired of having no outlet to wrestle and play soccer, and tired of not being able to eat the food he loves. His pain was generally fine, but there were a few times where it spiked, accompanied with tears. Again, the head wrap, lots of water, and pain medicine took the edge off. It was at this point that I realized the mental part of recovery was just as hard as the physical one.

Pain Scale: 6/10 (day); 8/10 (for a few hours at night)

Day 7 Post Op:

Another tougher day mentally. At this point, he was just done feeling not himself and really started to feel frustrated which came out through crying several times. His pain was fine during the day but increased in the evening. Sucking on ice and wearing the head wrap always do the trick. 

Pain Scale: 6/10 (day); 8/10 (for a few hours at night)

Day 8 Post Op:

The scabs are officially coming off. Lots of complaints of burning and stinging. Intermittent pain as a result. Nothing unmanageable through Tylenol and Ibuprofen, but modified diet to remove anything that might increase his throat even more irritation (acids, Gatorade). He was frustrated from the pain this day but also hopeful that his recovery now had an end in sight.

Pain Scale: 7/10

Day 9 Post Op:

Almost back to normal. He said the pain was minimal but I still gave him his Ibuprofen and Tylenol through the day. He ate almost completely normally--welcome back pizza!

Pain Scale: 2/10

Day 10 Post Op:

Nearly 100% with the exception of still needing pain meds. I went with the strategy of only giving them when he complained of pain, but as it turns out, this was like clockwork as soon as the previous dose ran its course. He still has some scabbing in the back of his throat (though almost gone), so I figure there's a reason why they call it a 10-14 day recovery. I'm sure the meds will be needed less and less over the next few days, but overall, I'm calling this thing COMPLETE.

Pain Scale: 2/10

BIGGEST RECOVERY TIPS:

• Sleep upright on a wedge pillow with a humidifier blasting and take sips of water throughout the night. We never had any issues with sleep (other than the fact that it was often interrupted by alarms going off for Tylenol and Ibuprofen).
• Never miss a dose of Ibuprofen/Tylenol (this is all we were given, and it was sufficient). Make sure you record/log your doses because it all gets confusing, especially through the night. Continue meds through at least Day 10.
• Stay hydrated. I strongly feel this was the biggest factor. Continuing to keep your throat moist keeps pain under control. Chewing gum also helps.

Heated Wrap for around neck: https://amzn.to/4d3dRyt

Heated or iced head wrap: https://amzn.to/3W6otG7

Wedge Pillow for sleeping upright: https://amzn.to/3zJDvKm

Extra syringes for medicine: https://amzn.to/4cykgSt

Humidifier to run all night at their bedside: https://amzn.to/4bPyuNw

Clear water bottle so you can keep track of fluid consumption: https://amzn.to/3WniYnF

Ice machine has been really helpful and a nice-to-have: https://amzn.to/3SaDKEC

Stock up on dye-free ibuprofen and Tylenol (WAY more than you think you will need. I'd recommend 8 bottles of each). Red food dye must be avoided in case your child vomits so it can be determined easily whether there is blood.

Overall, this experience was such a shockingly and significantly more positive experience than I thought we were doomed for. Prepare for good days with some tougher moments built in. You can definitely make it through these moments. If you're prepared for the worst, I think you'll be pleasantly surprised. All this said, it was a solid 10 day recovery and then some. If you're on the fence, it is absolutely worth it to give your child the gift of having this taken care of before they reach adulthood, when this surgery is significantly harder and more painful. 

Wishing anyone in the tonsillectomy boat a speedy recovery--please reach out with any questions!

 Dear Oskar,

You’re 10. A decade. 10 years of us, of being a mom. I can’t remember life without you. We’ve learned and grown together, and you’ve forged ahead for every milestone. Pushing me ahead even when it sometimes hurts to let go.  Watching you grow has been the joy and heartbreak of my life. 

I feel like we’re entering tween years now, with extra emphasis on hair gel and cool stuff to wear. We have deep conversations and you ask the most insightful questions. You’re a tall and lanky kid, all legs. You read novel after novel and jam out to Green Day and Blink 182—your dad’s dream come true.

Your school year has been the most independent success story. I’ve barely cracked open a folder all year to check on you, and still, you completed every assignment on your own, off the charts in all the things, but especially math. You’re working a year ahead but barely blinked or thought twice about it, solving long division problems down the sides of pages that made me shudder.

So much of your 10-year-old identity is intertwined in soccer. All consuming for many of our week and weekend days, the amount of time you spend on a field is significant. You’ve grown so much as a player and are so incredibly effective at seeing the field and setting up the play. You understand the game and the strategy behind it at a truly deep level, which has brought you so much success. We’re soaring into another year of cup soccer playing at some of the highest levels. We’ve taken you to Philadelphia and Lancaster this year. I love watching you do what you love.

Figuring out what you wanted for your birthday was a conundrum in itself since you’re totally content with what you have. Soccer jerseys and soccer balls were where we landed, to the surprise of no one.

You have a few best friends that mean just about everything to you. Watching the richness that these friendships have brought to your life is something I hope you feel and have for all of the middle and high school years ahead.

You love to play football outside with your brother and dad and have won Super Bowls together countless times in our front yard together. The epitome of boyhood is calling you all in when it’s dark and you’re covered in mud, but really my heart swells because of it.

You’ve been playing drums for over a year now and have absolutely soared, playing along with your dad in the basement like you’re in a high school band. Your musical talent is one of my favorite parts about you and I think you’re pretty proud of the drum solos you can belt out too.

August is your best friend despite the inevitable fighting after any period that feels a little too peaceful. Your interests in soccer, football, video games, and TV shows you watch all really emphasize how close in age you are. When you have friends over, you all play together, and I hope that always stays that way, into adulthood and beyond.

With Maren, your patience is limited and your insistence on teaching her life lessons or your unwavering emphasis on rules in games drives her absolutely insane. You’re older, but not old enough, to exercise a little more tolerance for a 4-year-old who is as stubborn as they come.

The update in this letter that breaks my heart a little is that your little yellow stuffed animal bunnies fell to the wayside this year, no longer meticulously set up on your pillow when you go to bed every night.  They’re tossed to the side of your bed, the most tangible sign that you’re growing up.

You are the most thankful and appreciative kid and you really don’t ask for much, even when we ask (or maybe just expect) a lot from you. It’s not easy being the oldest, leading the way for a brother and a sister who look to you for just about everything. We’re surprising you with a trip to the beach with our family, but really, this one’s for your birthday. It’s been your dream to go to the ocean and I really wanted to make it happen for you on such a big day. I hope it becomes a core memory for you.

Happy, happy birthday, Oskar Henri. The words for how much I love you do not exist.

 Love always,

    Mama

Dear August,

Happy 8^th birthday. My boy full of imagination, the goofiest and silliest, the mushiest of hearts.

Nothing makes you happier than a sunny day and somebody to throw a football to you. A happy-go-lucky pacifist who plays up with Oskar or down with Maren, the glue holding our sibling set together.

Your years have progressed from an all-consuming interest in Batman, to Luigi, to Harry Potter, and now football, always with costumes or uniforms to accompany. We call them your “eras”, and when you’re in one you’re in it big. Your football knowledge has gone through the roof, with you sputtering facts about trades and strategies and players, your mornings spent reviewing film or YouTube videos of the greatest interceptions or worst fumbles. You’ve rewatched the biggest NFL come back of all time more times than I can count, always sitting on the edge of your seat for the result.

This year in school has been an exercise of figuring out how you learn best. Your little body was not meant to sit in a seat for 8 hours a day and we’ve worked in different ways at home for you to be successful. All of the credit and accolades should really go to the kids like you who have to work for it where it doesn’t always come intuitively, and I’m so proud of you for all the time we’ve spent together to make it click.

You are a friend to everybody but still have your favorite handful, and it’s so evident that you found your people when you are with them. The silliest inside jokes and made-up games that nobody else understands: this is the happiness of which 8-year-olds are made.

A lover of sports, you’re still sometimes shy to play them, especially intimidated by anybody who may be older than you. Any frustration of losing is outweighed by you playing well. You’re starting flag football for the first time now, and your ear-to-ear smile after catching a Hail Mary pass in the endzone at practice might just well make your entire season. You finished your first basketball season and by the end, had come all the way out of your shell and had celebration dances after every bucket that had the crowd rolling. You’ve also come so far in soccer, and watching the transition from clusters of kids on a field to the strategy of positioning and passing is so fun. You’re a leader on your team and love putting the ball in the back of the net (and then doing the griddy).

Possibly my favorite new hobby of yours is playing guitar and the way that your dad, Oskar, and you now play music together in the basement. Your dad’s phone is full of videos of the three of you jamming out to a song together, which is something he dreamed about when he had two little boys under two.

This year took you to Disney World, Finland, and Scotland. You loved all of it, especially meeting Pluto and walking the street that inspired Diagon Alley in Harry Potter in Edinburgh. All of our non-vacation weeks are really just spent counting down to the next one that we can go on together.

You still love a good, long sleep and usually doze off to the most obscure songs playing on your Alexa. You’ve gotten into the Goosebumps books series, always gasping at every cheesy cliffhanger, begging us to read on. Before bed every night you have me do a “daily spin”, a pretend gameshow wheel that I trigger by bopping your finger. I get a different sound effect every night depending on where the imaginary wheel lands, and truthfully, I can’t go to sleep without knowing whether I got a bark or a whoosh of wind that night.

You’re so excited to celebrate this birthday with a football party in our basement. The curated plan is to watch all of the YouTube highlights you’ve queued up over the last months with pizza and popcorn in hand with your small group of very best friends. Your gifts from us are all things sports—a jersey you’ve been wishing for, trading cards and a back-of-the-door basketball hoop. Toys are slowly falling to the wayside, the sign of a boy who’s growing up.

August, it’s impossible not to love you. You’re such a ray of sunshine, a friend to everybody, and have the biggest heart with the world's best laugh. The littlest things make you the happiest, and I hope that never changes.

Happy 8^th birthday to my forever baby boy. I love you to the moon.

Love,

Mama

 Dear Maren,

You’re four years old. Always a hard milestone for me because the baby years are fully behind us, leaving us with a long legged, braid-wearing, brazen little girl.

Your days start with your brothers with the three of you occasionally creeping downstairs without us even knowing. These were the days we dreamt about when nobody in this house was sleeping a handful of years ago, and now, somehow, we’ve arrived. You would live your whole life in pajamas if you could and getting dressed is still notably one of your least favorite parts of the day. Fiercely opinionated about what to wear, your favorite t-shirts and leggings are on repeat with piles of alternate suggestions tossed to the side every morning. Your favorite things are coloring (with such exceptional precision it’s scary), playing board games (especially Guess Who, Zingo, and Dragon’s Breath), playing outside with your neighborhood friends, climbing the front yard tree, reading books, and snuggling up to watch a movie. You never want to go to school but your days go just fine, which has been a running trend from the very beginning. You can count pretty endlessly, can write all of your letters and your first and last name, know all of your letter sounds, know about 25 sight words, and are so interested in reading and doing math like you observe nightly at the homework table. There are no words for the amount of thrilled you were when your Pre-K class issued a red homework folder that looked exactly like your brothers’. You memorize books so that you can “read” them to us—a pretty impressive skill and one of my favorite tricks of yours.  You love the Little Miss book series and if you had to choose a topic to prepare a dissertation on, it would probably be about all of the characters within them.

We’re in the challenging part of toddlerhood where you’ve fully outgrown a nap but have to take one at school, leaving us with long nights with your copious amounts of energy into the 9 and 10 o’clock hours. I’m so ready for you to move into a different classroom in the fall where we can finally leave the very unneeded rest time behind and gain some semblance of a balanced bedtime routine. I asked you why you fall asleep at school when you’re not even tired, and you sighed and said, “When they put that [lullaby] music on it’s like a tranquilizer dart”.

Your favorite food has somehow become Grape Nuts cereal but you don’t know the name of it, and we will forever laugh when you ask for a bowl of crumbs before bedtime. All of your other adventurous eating has slowly fallen to the wayside this year, in true 4-year-old fashion, also frustratingly influenced by your brothers. We are, however, kind of mind blown at the fact that you wont eat a single piece of candy or fruit snack with the exception of some Reese’s peanut butter cups, who should probably sponsor you for that.

To say you’re ahead of your time doesn’t quite do it justice. Your vocabulary, your presence, it’s all bigger than life. Just recently, you marched back into your dentist’s office, leaving me alone in the waiting room while you made your own medical decisions thank-you-very-much.

Your brothers and we love and have a reasonable fear of you. You can hold your own, resulting in some heated sibling interactions. Your brothers go between giggling at your antics to being frustrated about often having to surrender to a 4-year-old’s demands. On the flip side, I still catch you and August imagining and pretending together. His patience is the biggest and he still has just enough little boy in him to play in imaginary worlds with you. Your lingo has developed into a 9 year old’s, with you telling me that your new Paw Patrol toys are “so sick” while you sing along to Blink 182.

This year’s adventures took you to Disney World, Finland and Scotland, and except for the jet lag, you’re an amazing little traveler. You’re ready to take on the world to the surprise of no one.

You started a Little Gym class this year, your first real activity for just you after living at your brothers’ practices and games. You still say you want to be a soccer player when you grow up and number one on your Christmas list this year was “Beadling gear”, the club team that Oskar plays for. You’re starting to practice on your very own team this spring and I can’t wait to watch you play.

When I think back on this year, I’ll always remember your big blue eyes, face smudged with dirt from playing outside, braided hair windblown, and your two fingers popped in your mouth whenever you’re tired. As much as I tell you that you need to stop sucking them, your dentist reported that your teeth were perfectly fine despite the sleepy habit, which you fully understood and reported back to me as an I-told-you-so. You have a lingering scar under your eye and a fresher one on your forehead that warranted stitches but was glued shut by your doctor dad to save us a trip to the ER.

I was so excited to have a little girl, but goodness, I’m even happier to raise one with a belly full of fire. When you were born, August called you “Miss Mouse” when he first met you. Now, every time you win a game or observe something that we haven’t, you remark to yourself, “What a clever little mouse.”

You’re now turning the same age as August was when you were born, a crazy full-circle kind of moment. One thing is for sure: you were meant to be the baby of this family—someone to keep us laughing, and also just a little bit scared, every single day.

Happy 4^th birthday to our beautiful baby girl. You’ve made our family the happiest, and also kept us on our toes, for 4 whole years. We love you, we love you, we love you.

Love,

Mama